Do you have something in the past that you need to forgive yourself for? Or someone needs to forgive you for? Even if you felt like you were doing the best you could at the time, but you have someone who just won’t let it go? Leaving the past in the past is very often easier said than done.

Survival Mode

 While going through something that I could barely cope with myself, domestic violence, and were barely making it through, basicly just surviving it.

After dealing with traumatic situations, I felt I did pretty well in spite of all that I was dealing with, even though I walked around feeling numb most of the time, after the lack of finding effective therapy, I only got through it with Gods help, never turned to alcohol or drugs just went about life as a single parent taking care of my child the best that I could. As we are going through things it’s often hard to see how it’s affecting others around us, just as it’s hard for them to see how it’s affecting us.

 When we provide for our children, work to keep a roof over their heads, clothes to wear and food to eat, as well as spend quality time with them and all they can see is what they feel we didn’t do, and they proceed to hold it against us often in their adult life, and act as if we need to spend our lives making it up to them, while not even acknowledging what it is we were going through, or anything that we did right back then, are we the really the problem?

Forgiveness

 If it is not in someone else’s heart to forgive and seek out any help that is necessary as an adult in order to heal and let it go, then we will just have to forgive ourselves, pray for them and seek out whatever it is we need to heal, and not allow ourselves to be manipulated or caused to feel guilty about something that has happened in the past that we cannot change.

 I have to continue to remind myself that it is not my responsibility to make someone else happy, but to try my best to understand while taking care of my health and mental wellbeing in the process.

I believe that my ability to forgive right in the midst of what I was going through is the reason I survived, if God can forgive us then who are we to keep holding onto to something, that we need to deal with from our past, it may not be something we can do in our own strength which is why we have to pray and rely on God to help us, and do whatever it is in our power to forgive, heal and move on.

So by asking for guidance from God, not giving up, believing that you can get through it, journaling, meditating or whatever you find that works for you, you can get through it.