Tag: love

Choose Wisely, Know Your Worth — and Add Tax

Choosing yourself is an act of wisdom. It protects you from being taken advantage of, taken for granted, or mistreated. It keeps your mind clear when actions don’t align with words and helps you recognize when something simply isn’t right.

Knowing your worth means refusing manipulation, gaslighting, and the quiet confusion that leads us to blame ourselves for the behavior of others. It means not allowing feelings of inferiority—feeling like you’re not enough or that you’re too much. At the same time, it’s not about believing you’re better than anyone else. It’s about standing firmly in who you are and refusing to let anyone or anything convince you otherwise.

When you’re doing the work and you truly know your worth, you stop settling for less than you deserve. You understand that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, as Eleanor Roosevelt so wisely said. And when someone wants access to your time, energy, or peace, you add tax—because your value comes with a cost.

Setting boundaries, walking away when necessary, forgiving, and choosing happiness despite circumstances leads to a life of fulfillment and joy. It frees you from comparison, competition, grudges, unforgiveness, and hatred. Instead, you get to live as your true, authentic self—unapologetically.

As this New Year begins, I will continue to do the work. I will be thankful for every new day God blesses me with and learn from every test and trial that comes my way. I will continue to choose me—not out of selfishness, but out of necessity—so I can become my best self and be intentional about what I allow into my life.

Peace comes from choosing yourself. It gives you the clarity to choose what is right for you in every area of your life and opens the door for the right people to walk in—those who see your worth and are willing to pay the tax.

Posted on by normascott21 0

Honoring Fathers – A Father’s Day Reflection

Happy Father’s Day

Proverbs 20:7
“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.”

Today, we thank God for all the fathers who have shown up for their children—regardless of the circumstances.

To the fathers who have been present—whether married or not—thank you.
To the fathers who take responsibility, who raise their children with love, strength, and presence—thank you.
To the fathers who lead by example—showing their sons how to be men of honor, how to treat women with respect, and showing their daughters what to look for in a good man—thank you.

To the fathers who stepped into the lives of children who weren’t biologically theirs—stepfathers, mentors, teachers, coaches, pastors—your impact is immeasurable.
To the fathers breaking generational cycles of absence, rewriting the legacy for their families—thank you.
To the fathers who do what needs to be done without placing blame, even when it means raising their children alone—thank you.
To the single fathers grieving the loss of their children’s mother—our hearts are with you.

Thank God for you all. You are seen. You are appreciated. You are vital.

Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

We also pray for the fathers who were absent.

To the fathers who placed blame instead of taking responsibility—there’s still room for reflection and change.
To those who walked away because the woman they conceived with wasn’t who they imagined as the mother of their child—your child still needed you.
To the fathers who accused the mother of trapping them, not realizing they made that choice too—we pray for your awakening.
To the fathers who avoided child support or mistook financial responsibility as optional—we pray you come to understand the weight and worth of your role. To the fathers wounded by trauma, unsure how to be present—we pray you find healing.

Posted on by normascott21 0

When Apologies Mean Nothing: Breaking the Cycle of Blame

Have you ever been in a situation where you keep experiencing the same behavior from someone? Where they are sorry after the incident, yet not taking any responsibility for their actions, and continuously blaming you, or someone else for their behavior. Well an apology is worthless and not an apology at all without changed behavior.

For some, it could be coming from a spouse or significant other, who’s verbally or physically abusive and is always sorry after the fact, or a family member or friend, or even a boss that crosses the line over and over again, and is always seriously sorry after the fact, and just makes excuses wanting you to just get over it and to act as if nothing ever happened. Expecting you to accept their apology and move on.

when sometimes all the other person needs to heal is for them to recognize and admit and change thier behavior, but we have to also realize that it may not be in them to do so.

They may continue to blame you or anything else for thier behavior, to blame there past, or what they’ve been through, using that as an excuse or a scapegoat for their behavior, while taking no responsibility whatsoever for their own actions.

Although yes we are supposed to forgive them, it doesn’t mean that we have to continue to put up with the behavior, and be made to feel as if we are overreacting, and that it’s all in our head, or that were the problem. I believe you would call this a form of gaslighting, which is just a start in explaining this behavior and the situation we may find ourselves in.

After a while you may start to think that somehow it was your fault, and try to figure out what you may have done to bring on this type of behavior, when the truth of the matter is, we are not responsible for another person’s actions or reactions only they are. The first step in changing thier behavior is for them to realize that there is a problem.

Sometimes we deal with the behavior for years, walking on egg shells, trying to keep the peace and saying the wrong thing to avoid yet another confrontation, It is not our responsibility to try and change them, It will take an act of God, therapy and a total reflection and realization on the other persons part to do that. These situations can cause a lot of mental distress so protecting our peace, our health and mental wellbeing, and not blaming ourselves is crucial.

If there is a part we need to take responsibility for by all means do that, then forgive yourself, take care of yourself and first and foremost forgive and pray for them, pray for yourself and ask God for help and guidance to get through it, or in some cases the strength to remove yourself from the situation all together.

Posted on by normascott21 0