Tag: mental-health

When It’s Not Okay to Be “Okay”

We all have days when we are not okay. Yet, when someone asks how we’re doing, our automatic response is often, “I’m fine.” Inside, however, we may feel like we’re about to fall apart—on the verge of a breakdown, wanting to scream, run away, or even disappear.

As people—and especially as Christians—we often feel pressure to always appear okay. We may quote a Bible verse instead of admitting our true feelings, believing that honesty about our struggles is a sign of weakness or lack of faith. Because of this, we keep things bottled up, suffocating under the weight of our emotions rather than saying, “I’m exhausted. I’m stressed. I’m overwhelmed. I’m struggling.”

But hiding how we feel does us a disservice. When we open up, we give others the chance to pray for us, support us, and simply empathize with our pain.

The truth is, being vulnerable is not weakness—it’s human. God knows we will face moments when we feel this way. That’s why Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” We are not alone in our struggles. Others have felt the same way, and more importantly, God invites us to bring Him our burdens. When we do, He gives us rest, compassion, and understanding.

There is no judgment in admitting we’re not okay. The danger lies in staying there. Scripture reminds us in Psalms 30:5, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” That morning may take longer to arrive for some than for others, but with God’s help, it will come.

Being “not okay” can even be a signal to pause and evaluate where we may be unbalanced in life:

  • Am I focusing on my circumstances instead of what God says about them?
  • Am I truly resting—not just sleeping, but making time to be still and quiet?
  • Am I letting stress or people control my peace?
  • Am I trying to fix everything myself instead of trusting God’s timing?
  • Am I speaking life, or am I feeding negativity with my words?
  • Am I learning from my situation, or only focusing on the problem?
  • Am I caring for my body—through healthy eating, exercise, and proper rest?

We know ourselves better than anyone—except God. And sometimes, admitting that we’re not okay is the first step toward healing, balance, and restoration.

Posted on by normascott21 0

When Apologies Mean Nothing: Breaking the Cycle of Blame

Have you ever been in a situation where you keep experiencing the same behavior from someone? Where they are sorry after the incident, yet not taking any responsibility for their actions, and continuously blaming you, or someone else for their behavior. Well an apology is worthless and not an apology at all without changed behavior.

For some, it could be coming from a spouse or significant other, who’s verbally or physically abusive and is always sorry after the fact, or a family member or friend, or even a boss that crosses the line over and over again, and is always seriously sorry after the fact, and just makes excuses wanting you to just get over it and to act as if nothing ever happened. Expecting you to accept their apology and move on.

when sometimes all the other person needs to heal is for them to recognize and admit and change thier behavior, but we have to also realize that it may not be in them to do so.

They may continue to blame you or anything else for thier behavior, to blame there past, or what they’ve been through, using that as an excuse or a scapegoat for their behavior, while taking no responsibility whatsoever for their own actions.

Although yes we are supposed to forgive them, it doesn’t mean that we have to continue to put up with the behavior, and be made to feel as if we are overreacting, and that it’s all in our head, or that were the problem. I believe you would call this a form of gaslighting, which is just a start in explaining this behavior and the situation we may find ourselves in.

After a while you may start to think that somehow it was your fault, and try to figure out what you may have done to bring on this type of behavior, when the truth of the matter is, we are not responsible for another person’s actions or reactions only they are. The first step in changing thier behavior is for them to realize that there is a problem.

Sometimes we deal with the behavior for years, walking on egg shells, trying to keep the peace and saying the wrong thing to avoid yet another confrontation, It is not our responsibility to try and change them, It will take an act of God, therapy and a total reflection and realization on the other persons part to do that. These situations can cause a lot of mental distress so protecting our peace, our health and mental wellbeing, and not blaming ourselves is crucial.

If there is a part we need to take responsibility for by all means do that, then forgive yourself, take care of yourself and first and foremost forgive and pray for them, pray for yourself and ask God for help and guidance to get through it, or in some cases the strength to remove yourself from the situation all together.

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Unlocking Emotions: The Power of Writing for Wellness

Hi,
My name is Norma, welcome to my page

There are times in life when we go through things that we don’t feel like we can share with anyone. Maybe for some it’s out of fear of being misunderstood, or being seen as weak, or just not being supported.

There were many times as I child where I would just write to release my thoughts, to get things off my chest, to calm myself when dealing with unpleasant situations. I would always keep my writings to myself, it was a form of therapy, a form of release sort of speak..

I started this blog in hopes to help someone that may need to release something that may be causing pain, holding them back or preventing them from healing. In writing things down even as I child, my love of writing, and putting pen to paper has helped me throughout the years, to process thoughts, to put things into perspective, to heal, to release, to vent and to cope, all while creating a space for change.

Although this may not be for everyone, I believe that God has given us all gifts and talents, even if we don’t always realize what they are or how we are meant to use them.

What are your thoughts?

How have some of you found ways to cope in difficult situations?

Posted on by normascott21 0

Breaking Generational Curses Through Honest Conversations

I was thinking a lot about healing recently, not only physical healing but emotional healing as well. The lack of emotional healing that can result in physical illness.

I thought of all the ways that we oftentimes keep things inside, pushing it to the back of our minds in hopes that it will somehow just magically go away. We may have heard others give their testimony, and feel like I could never do that, but I wonder what type of healing we could experience if we reveal the things that have kept us bound for so long, and how many people could be helped that may have been through the same or similar things, or how many people could we have saved from the so called fate, if we would have warned them what we had experienced, for some it may be any number of things such as alcohol or drug addiction that runs in the family, Or it may be the incest or molestation that was experienced, or mental or physical abuse or even depression.

How many generational curses could we have prevented from continuing if we would have warned the next generation about the things that our grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts uncles or any other family members had suffered through.

Often families want to keep it behind closed doors, as the saying goes, what happens in this house stays in this house, which is the craziest thing ever, and is only meant to spare them from embarrassment, while all along causing it to fester while keeping it hidden and unknown, and carrying it into every relationship we encounter after.

We hope that not talking about what we’ve or some other family members have been through will save us from embarrassment and shame, while it only causes things to remain as they are.

For we cannot heal what we will not reveal, for some it may mean revealing it to yourself first as a start, and no we cannot go around talking to and everyone, we do have to be selective and choose wisely who we can confide in, and if it is something that will save the next person from abuse, tell it, let it all out because not talking about it will cause the  generational curse to continue.

I’m not saying it will be easy, and you may not get the support you deserve, but keeping silent will hurt you more than it will to reveal it and may break the cycle and help someone else from going through it or help someone who has gone through it to not feel so alone in it.

So often people feel as if they must have done something wrong, or that they must have deserved it, when the truth of the matter is the same thing that was done to you was most likely done to them and their silence caused them to be complicit for the behavior to continue on.

So just remember, you can’t heal what you don’t reveal… For the bible says in John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.

Posted on by normascott21 0

Overcoming Exhaustion: The Impact of Positive Thinking and Adequate Rest

I sat down to write with feelings of complete exhaustion, often in our daily routine we don’t even realize how much we actually do. No wonder we burn out, part of it is our thinking.

When I woke up I decided that I would not be complaining about anything today, If I encounter people around me complaining then I would just counter it with something to be thankful for, and even when those negative thoughts come to mind as they will and always do, I won’t speak them out loud, complaining can really drain your energy  and peace of mind, which is why God said to speak life to your life (Proverbs 18:21),

It’s the same thing we do when were saying affirmations were speaking life to our lives. Have you ever noticed when you’re saying a bunch of negative things about your life, about money, about what may happen, or what’s not going right, that things just continue to go wrong, sometimes we think about what we’re saying, but don’t associate it with what’s taking place in our lives as (Mark 11:23) says you will have what you say.

 It’s not like everything is going to go just the way we like if were not speaking negative things and complaining all the time, but we will notice that things are getting better, and we are feeling better when we’re speaking and believing for good things.

But there are other times when we are simply doing too much, we go on as if we are on automatic pilot not taking the time to rest or a day off or even a few minutes to relax and breathe, we don’t rest as we should and then when our bodies break down, we wonder why.

So, rest when you need to rest, set boundaries when you need to, say no when you need to. It will make all the difference in the world to your mental and physical health.

Posted on by normascott21 0

Gaslighting: Recognizing and Dealing with Manipulative Behavior

Have you ever been in a situation where you keep experiencing the same behavior from someone? Where they are sorry after the incident, yet not taking any responsibility whatsoever for their actions, and continuously blaming you, or someone else for their behavior, well an apology is worthless and not an apology at all without changed behavior.

For some, it could be coming from a spouse or significant other who’s abusive and is always sorry after the fact, or a family member or friend that crosses the line over and over again and is always seriously sorry after the fact, then makes excuses, while wanting you to act as if you should just get over it, act as if nothing happened, accept their apology and move on, while they continue to blame you, and not take responsibility for their own actions, and yes we are supposed to forgive them, but that doesn’t mean that we have to continue to put up with the behavior, making us feel as if we are overreacting and that it’s you that’s the problem. For example someone may blow up because they are feeling overwhelmed with something that maybe going on in their life but instead of acknowledging what they may be feeling they blame it on you instead. I believe you would call this a form of gaslighting, which is just a start in explaining this behavior and the situation you may find yourself in,

 You may have thought somehow it was your fault and try to figure out what you may have done to bring on this type of behavior, when the truth of the matter is we are not responsible for another person’s actions only they are, especially when they are unprovoked.

Sometimes we deal with their behaviors for years walking on egg shells, trying to keep the peace and avoiding yet another confrontation, and as impossible as it may seem, it is not something we can resolve on our own, It will take an act of God, therapy and a total reflection and realization on the other persons part, and although being in this situation can cause a lot of mental distress, protecting our peace, our health and mental wellbeing is crucial, if there is a part we need to take responsibility for by all means do that, then forgive yourself take care of yourself remove yourself from the situation and first foremost  pray for them, pray for yourself and ask God for help and guidance to go through it.

It is not our responsibility to try and fix the behavior, that is totally up to them. They have to consider what they are feeling and what they need to do to fix, or control the behavior, for some that may be writing about it, doing some self reflection, reading a book on the subject, watching a podcast, meditating or seeking therapy, but whatever it is we must protect our health and wellbeing at all times. Remember the change has to begin with them not with you.

Posted on by normascott21 1