Have you ever been in a situation where you keep experiencing the same behavior from someone? Where they are sorry after the incident, yet not taking any responsibility whatsoever for their actions, and continuously blaming you, or someone else for their behavior, well an apology is worthless and not an apology at all without changed behavior.

For some, it could be coming from a spouse or significant other who’s abusive and is always sorry after the fact, or a family member or friend that crosses the line over and over again and is always seriously sorry after the fact, then makes excuses, while wanting you to act as if you should just get over it, act as if nothing happened, accept their apology and move on, while they continue to blame you, and not take responsibility for their own actions, and yes we are supposed to forgive them, but that doesn’t mean that we have to continue to put up with the behavior, making us feel as if we are overreacting and that it’s you that’s the problem. For example someone may blow up because they are feeling overwhelmed with something that maybe going on in their life but instead of acknowledging what they may be feeling they blame it on you instead. I believe you would call this a form of gaslighting, which is just a start in explaining this behavior and the situation you may find yourself in,

 You may have thought somehow it was your fault and try to figure out what you may have done to bring on this type of behavior, when the truth of the matter is we are not responsible for another person’s actions only they are, especially when they are unprovoked.

Sometimes we deal with their behaviors for years walking on egg shells, trying to keep the peace and avoiding yet another confrontation, and as impossible as it may seem, it is not something we can resolve on our own, It will take an act of God, therapy and a total reflection and realization on the other persons part, and although being in this situation can cause a lot of mental distress, protecting our peace, our health and mental wellbeing is crucial, if there is a part we need to take responsibility for by all means do that, then forgive yourself take care of yourself remove yourself from the situation and first foremost  pray for them, pray for yourself and ask God for help and guidance to go through it.

It is not our responsibility to try and fix the behavior, that is totally up to them. They have to consider what they are feeling and what they need to do to fix, or control the behavior, for some that may be writing about it, doing some self reflection, reading a book on the subject, watching a podcast, meditating or seeking therapy, but whatever it is we must protect our health and wellbeing at all times. Remember the change has to begin with them not with you.